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[Nov. 18th, 2009|10:51 pm] |
Update on the wet penguin: our mine supervisor figured out how fucked he was and drove far far away from us, leaving us to deal with his shit. Next day, there is no guidance or hope of wrapping this up with dignity, but there is an excellently photoshopped photo of his face on the wet penguins body which reads "fuck it, I'm going home." Legendary.
I am home now though, and at a loss as to what to do next. I have been tossing around the idea of buying a van and just driving anywhere I can think to drive to. I would like some company though, and haven't been getting stellar responses. I need some new un-thought of options. Any ideas? I need something to fill up a couple of months, but need to be around for Christmas and Roundup ( the two high holidays), which awkwardly breaks up my time frame into 3 week intervals.
Worse comes to worse, hanging around here could prove very fun. I already have a trip to the hot springs lined up for this weekend, and today I applied to work in Nicaragua. Because, fuck it, why not? |
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| Get me away from here, I'm dying |
[Nov. 8th, 2009|04:38 pm] |
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Big shitty things have been going down at work in the past two weeks which have culminated in a demotivational picture of an angry wet penguin with the caption "fuck it, I'm going home" hanging on the office wall. I have been doing what may actually qualify as the worst job in the world for two weeks (I have has two helpers come in, try it for a day or two and say it is the worst thing they have ever had to do, then leave me to it). But, as a birthday present to me, the company decided to insult a Mexican enough for him to take back his 10 million dollar investment. That means that on the 5th I got laid off, and I have never been so excited to get the fuck out of a place in my life. Needless to say I am doing as little as possible until I get to go home. Also needless to say, the camp has become a drunkard heaven. Last night, the night miners pissed off halfway through their shift and got rockstar drunk while the mine flooded. Fuck it, I'm going home. |
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| A Limited Hell |
[Oct. 10th, 2009|09:21 am] |
When things are bad, they are pretty bad. There was a stretch of about 3 days when I was on the brink of crying constantly. I have become really self conscious about being a weakling and therefore slightly useless when it comes to sawing rocks or moving rocks or blasting rocks with high pressure water. Not being able to carry your weight is the worst feeling in the world, and it is frustrating to be constantly put in a position where you can't. That being said, things have gotten better. I am exactly strong enough to do ArcGIS.
We are going on 3 and 3 shifts, which means I may get more responsibility, but also means I will never see a certain individual who is currently keeping me sane ever again. Realistically, that is probably best for my mental health in the long run, but right now it is what I am clinging to, and I am sad they are taking it away from me.
I can't tell if I am looking forward to this winter or not. It is -16 today, and it is only getting colder. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 8th, 2009|09:57 am] |
It has become clear that I need a few more guidelines in order to conduct my life in a way which doesn't sabotage all hope of happiness. So, here are my Labour Day resolutions:
-Do not have heartfelt conversations while drunk. Or, if you do, keep meticulous notes.
-Never wait until the last possible moment to work out if something is good or bad, because even if it is good, it is also over.
-Take a hint.
-Stop laughing manically in every situation. The process of explaining why you are laughing is far more difficult than just keeping it in to begin with.
I don't know what the fuck is up with anything right now. Things may be going in an amazing direction, or they may be crashing down around me, and I honestly don't know which. One thing is for damn sure though: being hit on by an autistic kid is hilarious. |
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| god rewards the brave |
[Sep. 5th, 2009|08:01 am] |
I am leaving camp in two days, and am partially very excited, but also partially disappointed in myself for not getting nearly enough accomplished in 6 weeks. I have become convinced that my inability to act will somehow force the fates to realign against me: they gave me a chance and I blew it. Realistically I know that rotational schedules are more commonly controlled by my boss John then by the metaphysical powers that be, but I am still going to be placing far to much weight on how this winters schedule works out.
The last week has been really relaxing. I have been mapping and sampling and digging trucks out of giant holes, all of which are a million times more fun than the ArcGIS I was doing before hand (and am doing now). I am still looking forward to getting back to Vancouver and moving into a new place and sleeping for over 6 hours a night, but it has been a good enough time up here to not make me too homesick. |
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| I want to grab you, but in the good way. |
[Aug. 21st, 2009|04:00 pm] |
Today I wrote everyone creepy love letters. "You have beautiful eyes. I must have them." "You're so cute I want to lock you in my basement so you can never leave."
That is all I have done today.
I have been put in charge of a mine. That is the most insane business move I have ever heard of, but I am trying to not mention it because it is a pretty sweet deal so long as I don't epically fail and ruin my career. There is a large disconnect somewhere in the logic though. Right now they have me colouring.
If all works out according to my delusional fantasies, this will be a great winter. It won't work out. I have been keeping Alicia fully informed on all my creepiness, and I think she is starting to get really and truly disturbed about how persistent my obsessions actually are. The longer I am in camp the odder it gets, and I still have two weeks left.... if I make it out of this rotation without serious damage to my ego it will be a miracle. |
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| time enough for counting when the dealing's done |
[Aug. 10th, 2009|01:29 pm] |
I am officially in love with massive holes dug into the earth. I have been working underground the past two days, and can't get enough of it. The way the air smells, the pitch black when you turn off your head lamp, the sparkly shit everywhere: perfect!
It has been a super relaxed week. Having no boss in camp has made me get inventive about what qualifies as work. Colouring? Oh, you best believe that is work. I have spent half the time following other people around while they work and "learning". It would be the perfect set up if I weren't concerned about making a good impression, but I want to appear hard working on the off chance they may renew my contract. It is difficult to look like a hard working and devoted colourer. This is only the second week though. Once the entire staff gets back I will still have 3 weeks to awe them with my attention to detail and rock identifying prowess.
EDIT: FUCK YES! I love the head geo. I have spoken to him twice in 2 weeks. The first time was him telling me not to ask him what to do. The second time was 2 minutes ago when he said that he will need people come September. I AM PEOPLE!!! Nothing is definite yet, but I am pretty fucking excited.
Also, we thought Bill was stranded in Dease Lake, so we sent Curtis out to get him. Now Bill is here with no Curtis. That should be a fun 3 hour drive :). |
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| Last night could have been wicked |
[Aug. 5th, 2009|07:05 am] |
I have been up here for a week, and am starting to settle in, but this is an odd camp. The company bought the town restaraunt, and now it is our kitchen. Tourists wander in often, thinking it is still a restaraunt. I am on the cross shift, and all my friends left this morning after a night of big drinking. I am very tired, and very unexcited to spend the next two weeks in close company with only a handful of people. I hate overtalkers, and there are fairly serious ones in camp right now ("Wow, it's raining" when you are outside in the rain already). It has made my already strong preference for certain quiet fellows almost rabid, which makes me dislike the overtalkers even more by comparison.
So far this week I have dug a trench, mapped a trench, and, yes, entered data from the trench. Tomorrow I may actually go out prospecting, which is what I was hired for in the first place, but I'm not holding my breath. |
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| I`ll never love anything half as much as whats `round every corner. |
[Jul. 22nd, 2009|12:17 am] |
`Round every corner there`s the good life, and monsters, and they dance together. They do the Madison, they do the fox trot, they do whatever.
ROCK ON BITCHES! Remember how I said I would sell my soul for an exploration job? Well, I totally got the good end of the deal, because my soul wasn't very pure, and I bought it off a dude at a party a few year ago anyways. Point is I got a fraking contract!!! 6 weeks of success in an otherwise failure of a life. I am so god damn excited. What do you call nepotism among friends? Because than is my new found way through life. My very good (even better now) friend got me a job, and I know EVERYONE that works there. And what may be the sad inlook into my psyche is that I am most excited about working with Edd. Camp is where I have all my romantic success after all.. it is all about isolating them to the point where I really am the best option... because I am the only one. Huzza!
I fly up on Monday, and there is going to be a shit show in the week in between. I have to pack up my room, since I won`t be around when we move house, I have to find all my field gear, and - most importantly - I need to get drunk with all my friends.
Oh, also, I had the 2nd best job in the world for 3 days: I worked at a balloon shop. If you can`t be a Geologist, I highly recommend the inflatable trades. |
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| Weekends at a time |
[Jul. 10th, 2009|12:02 am] |
Today I went on my 10th interview of the summer. Guess how it turned out? Yea... But tomorrow is number 11, and a bright new day right? I have been seeing a lot of former work friends, which is seriously upping the self pity. Tonight we went out and talked about the good old times - the good old times which I completely hated when I was living them. Last summer I had the most traumatizing 3 days any girl could hope for, but now I am sitting in a bar fondly reminiscing.
So my question to you is, what should I do for the next year? We are looking for a new place to rent, but do I want to stay in Vancouver for another year? What could I do instead? I need some sort of plan, and I have absolutely nothing. All I want is a job in exploration, but I think I have some time to kill before that will realistically happen. So suggest an insane plan, and I will probably do it, because the idea of hanging around here is too painful to bare. Unless I get this job at Balloon World tomorrow... because you know that is a great opportunity. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2009|06:44 pm] |
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Three days with no internet and no friends may have caused lasting psychological damage. Also made me realize I am far worse at chess than I wanted to believe. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 25th, 2009|02:29 am] |
Today was insanely great, which is quite frankly the least that could have happened to make me feel like a human again. I have been freaking out about work, since a lot of my friends have recently picked up their dream jobs while I was watching EdTV. As much as I enjoy bad 90's movies, I enjoy a feeling of fulfillment in my professional life more. So anyways, was freaking out, am now slightly calmer. We will refer to this as Miracle Day 2009. I watched the animated Watchmen series. Very fragmented talking. Quite unappealing. No intonation. Oh, but today! I am now in the works for an interview for an internship, a three person date with love-of-life-since-November, possible real (REAL!!!!) job with Hawthorn, and (AND)date with love-of-life-since-1st-year. I really don't expect much to come of any of this, but it is somehow reassuring that the universe doesn't hate me: everything which fucks up in my life for the next week or so will be entirely my own fault. The universe tried to help, but realistically now, we can only hold it accountable for so much.
Actually, in the sober light of 3am, saying I would go on a date with 1st year love was a pretty dumb move. I guess I had better get trashed tomorrow to make this seem logical. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 13th, 2009|11:19 pm] |
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I am quite awesomely irresponsible. Terrible role model for children but hilarious drinking buddy. Enjoyer of hot dogs and short sentences. I hate pants now, and try not to wear them. Mission accomplished. |
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| people like to put things in the ground |
[Jun. 3rd, 2009|11:51 pm] |
Turns out the mature life of a university graduate greatly resembles the slacker life of a university student. At least that is the case when said mature adult has no prospect of an actual job, where, by actual, I mean something I took 5 years out of my life to learn to do. But, I do have two job interviews today wherein I get to highlight my extensive knowledge of data entry and talking to foreigners. Hurrah!
Shit job situation aside, it has been a sweet week and a bit. Sasquatch was monumental - monuments were literally constructed to commemorate the ridiculousness. If I were a stronger person, and more capable of handling all-night drug benders, I wouldn't have minded living that way for a long while. As it is though, I got home and slept for 30 hours straight, and couldn't feel my left arm for a while.
After that I got a few days of gardening work which resulted in a few bucks, legs that were too sore to walk on, and an inability to wear pants for three days. That ended and I spent a few days playing RISK, hiking the chief, and watching movies blissfully. And now we are up to today. Yes, not a bad week. Being in the city for the summer is turning out to be fun... but the best thing that could happen to me is still to be swept away to somewhere dismal and cold and get to look at rocks for 4 months. |
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| If you feel like dancing, dance with me. |
[May. 14th, 2009|07:17 pm] |
I am fresh back from field school and after a long shower and an extensive cruise of facebook I don't really know what to do with myself. I am done school forever. Yesterday I finished off my last ever mapping assignment, and as we walked back to the car it started to snow. Natures grand finale. Whenever I leave camp I get this empty feeling which reminds me how dependent on other people I can become. After two weeks of constant companionship coming home and sitting alone in your room feels vaguely uncomfortable. Last night we had a dance party with 30 people crammed in a cabin dancing to the strobe setting on our head lamps. Today there are only two people in the house, and they aren't dancing at all. I am not ready to readjust back to mellow lazy Kelly.
And I am worried about getting a job. I realized in the last two weeks that, actually, everyone has found a job. everyone but me. Which means this isn't the recession at work; it's just me sucking. So I need to redouble my efforts and somehow get someone to hire me. One girl said her boss was a pervert who only hired nubile young girls. I may email him. |
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| We've got a war to fight |
[Apr. 11th, 2009|02:51 am] |
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Turns out, as soon as my life looses all direction and my roommates go away, I turn into the crazy lady who wanders around the apartment with headphones on all day and becomes a ball of whimper whenever Portishead comes on. Everyone wants me to be here for the summer, and I am trying to be excited for it, but really I want to get as far away from here as fast as possible. And everyone knows it, because I am shitty at lying. All I have ever wanted is to be taken to some random unknown place for four months of the year, and honestly, it feels a bit unfair that the powers that be won't let that happen. I think I have been fairly undemanding over the years, so why the shit have you stuck me here over the summer?! I don't want to be here. I need to find a way out. I have been applying for jobs, but don't know how to go about it, because there is no way to say in a cover letter that I will do ANYTHING. I applied for a security job for a casino saying I have a range of 5 inches with a .44. It's the closest I can come up with to an applicable skill, but somehow I don't think it is bringing the employers a-flocking. I never though after all this I would actually regret my lack of customer service experience, but now it's come to the point where my only skill is the ability to shoot the customer, and I don't know how the fuck I can even pretend that however I will make my living this summer holds any dignity. It doesn't. I need a walkabout - BC version. That means going into the Rockies and not coming home until you can braid your beard. Which means it would take me about 3 years... |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 26th, 2009|12:08 am] |
Today the internet told me "the ONLY things worth living for are LOVE and HAPPINESS." Complete with capital letters. I was like, thanks for driving that one right through the heart buddy. Then I slapped the internet because it totally had it coming.
Which isn't to say stuff hasn't been good: I went to a great concert, got drunk and mocked movie geology, finished a paper, and ate chocolate cake. Not a bad week all in all. But I am at that unfortunate stage where something awesome is feasible, making everything else slightly depressing in comparison.
It has taken ridiculous self restraint to not write here all week. I have the compulsion to write down every miserable thing I think of instead of writing down a single but cohesive thing which can then be turned into teachers for glorious passing grades. I haven't even read my sources for the paper that is due Monday, let alone written it. I figure if I steal the background from one friend and my data from another then is like an original paper. Go Geology! |
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| I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else but you. |
[Mar. 18th, 2009|01:17 am] |
Kelly is drunk! Again! Life is still generally shit. I'm still not leaving my house much, and still on the verge of failing everything I have ever worked for because of it. I'm still sleeping until 3 and waiting until there are 3 days left to write 10 page papers (seriously, how will I pull this off?? I don't even know). But, one seriously awesome thing has changed. I spend a lot of time imagining how my life might somehow take a turn for the better: minute instances that could maybe happen and change everything around. One of the myriad things I have imagined ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!
I am so glad I watched those terrible Warhammer battles in highschool. |
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| we are the stones that don`t skip so well. |
[Mar. 15th, 2009|02:38 am] |
Kelly is the drunk! My friend came back from traveling Australia and China and all those bits in between the two, and we had a great welcome back time tonight. He confessed that once, in second year, he lied to me. He got an eyebrow ring, and it`s on the same side as mine, and as weird as it is, I sort of want to put mine back in so we can form an odd eyebrow ringed club. But I guess that is why I got one in the first place right? So people would know which club I wanted to be a part of.
While in Australia he had a climbing accident and his partner died. I feel like I might have a lot to offer him because of dealing with previous climbing accident situations, but I am not sure how happy he would be to hear my experiences applied to his life like they are directly applicable. It's always a pretty coarse translation between your personal experience and what other people are going through, and when death is involved you really don't want to cock up.
I caught up with Martin tonight, which I am very pleased about. Since we got back from Vegas, Martin and I had not really been on the same page, and hadn't been talking much. It got to the point where I was out with Eric a few days ago and realized I was more in touch with my Ex than I was with my close friend. No more! I like the people who were out tonight. They feel like a balancing force. I had a long argument with the new geophysics guy about why FORTRAN and MatLab are useless, and all you need to get by are Maple and Python. I miss geophysics. |
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| waiting for tomorrow all of my life |
[Mar. 3rd, 2009|12:30 am] |
That's right, I know everything you did in 2005. That's right, we've never met. Congratulations, you have just acquired a stalker. Yay for you! To be perfectly honest though, I have started to resent you. It is clearly your fault that I am not studying for my midterm. Had you not written so prolifically, I would know everything about structural geology and be a genius by now. On the bright side, there are only another 3 years to go..
I am just failing epically. We had a field trip this weekend and a guy I like showed the bad judgment of giving me just enough attention to allow me a vague nebulous hope that maybe - just maybe - I have some chance with him. My reaction is entirely freaking me out: not only because it is completely unhealthy, but mostly because I know that once I get crazy like this it never works out. Statistics are not pointing towards this resolving itself favorably. Statistically, I am about 80% certain to get mad drunk, confess a creepy devotion to him, and then refuse to make eye contact ever again. The fact that I do this often enough to make a data set is another concerning thing.
Tomorrow there is a Q and A for our midterm, but I will have no questions because I have done no studying. And I will get a mediocre grade and work somewhere unimpressive this summer and then what? On the ferry home this weekend there were about 15 of us sharing the paper or reading magazines. Two people were reading the sports page, three girls were reading a cosmo, and the rest of us had articles about the recession. There is nothing more depressing then 10 hungover geologists reading about the failure of industry. |
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